It is just so difficult to be unkind to someone who must be
such a sweet person in real life. A person who has made sweet mushy movies like
HAHK, MPK, HSSH that we loved unequivocally.
We left our bitterness at home and relished the sweet dish served by this
angel on the celluloid, amazed that this goodness if it really existed was heavenly.
And then we went back to our not so sweet homes.
So why are we trying to be unkind. Well not exactly unkind.
Just struggling to grope for words that can describe vacuous puerile and
imbecile plots as vacuous puerile and imbecile. Oops! It was not supposed to come out like that!
The music that was released before was tantalizing. The
teasers seemed to have everything right. The helicopter shots which is being
reinvented with different speeds and angles from Mughal E Azam days. The symmetric
choreography of thousands of dancers. And no they did not seem morphed. Sonam Kapoor doing a Madhuri from HAHK resting like a mermaid in a
subdued beautiful Blue. Salman looking all gooey eyed explicitly portraying
infinite goodness different from the aggressive intimidation he reserves for a
reality show. There were huge Havelis encompassing the 70mm landscape. The
teasers were alright. And with those delightful songs the formula seemed set.
Till of course we land up for the actual show.
Now living in a city where movies do release earlier can be
an advantage or a disadvantage depending on whether you want to be the first to
enjoy good creative work or be the first to suffer the ignominy of relentless exhibition
of lack of imagination on the screen. Sadly the second one defines every moment
of this movie and it is indeed tragic coming as it does from the noble stable of
Rajshris
You give out a big sigh as a RamLeela song unfolds for the
umpteenth time in recent movies. You wonder if the Bajrangi song has been superimposed
with Salman and Tikka et al. A commoner (Salman) in Ayodhya going by the name
of Dilwale Prem stars in folk tale enactment in a small village. He is enamored
by a princess (Sonam) who does charity work that needs collection of funds in 1
kg tin cans. She is engaged to a prince (Guess who again) who meets with a
deadly twist even before he is introduced properly. The prince and the commoner
have things in common including looks.
The pauper is made to stand in for the missing prince by the
loyalist Dewan (Anupam Kher) till they are able to stave off coups by the
prince’s evil brother ( Neil Nitin Mukesh)
and safeguard the kingdom. There
are two step sisters too who live in an adjoining mini palace and live their
life cutting vegetables for their lunch or animatedly washing clothes with a
washing beetle ( yes they still have them) perhaps to depict the economic
status of the deprived princesses. The stand in Proxy prince has to correct the
relationships, provide the comic relief
and of course woo the princess he so admires.
That is a lot of work and one can imagine that it must have
required a lot of mathematical formulas to put all the characters together and
intertwine their situations suitably.
True but no one seems to make an effort. So much attention seems to have
gone into the ornate sets and elaborate accumulation of dancers making synchronized
moves that they did not have space even to keep the injured characters in a
proper hospital but rather depend on a an Aladdin type cave where the rocks
moves at the entrance and finally the plot went down the hill along with a horse drawn carriage.
IPhone / Notebooks freely dot the landscape where kings and
queens still exist, where the subjects seem to have no other work than to dance
for their royalty. Mercedes cars run
shoulder to shoulder with horse drawn carriages. Roads on the hills look down
steep cliffs and horses decide to fly off them for no reason. Water abounds in
an area which seems to be situated in a desert zone judging from the types of
palaces that abound.
Thirty minutes into the movie and I had already given up
trying to make sense of anything. There
is no clarity on time era. Ludicrous settings make the story extremely
implausible. Not sure if it is a period film or a modern day tale.
One imagines that the director is fighting an internal
battle with himself. He must have started to make a mushy period film with
kings and princesses. The pressure of the box office must have made him include
some unusual violence. Salman is barely held back in his act as he seems ready
to go into his Dabang act. Half way he indeed finds a plot convenience with the
princess and asks her if they can quit being royalty just giving them the right
excuse to launch into masti songs acts.
Perhaps unbeknownst to Sooraj Barjatya there are instances
of cleavage show creeping in. Which is a shocker for his brand of movies. There
are suggestive references in the song and scenes made but quickly withdrawn
before they enter into the ribald zone.
To be kind let us say it is a plotless, timeless film with
no pretentions of being entertaining.
Salman’s sincerity which helps ludicrous scenes look a bit
entertaining, Anupam Kher’s tried and tested act, interestingly Swara Bhaskar’s
act which stands out despite the insignificant act length and most importantly
excellent music from Himesh are the saving graces of the movie.
Himesh should be complimented for providing roti to his
reality show contestants who do a great job in “ Jalte Diya” and “ Prem leela”.
Shaan sounds good despite trying to mimic Udit and Kumar Sanu in the nice
sounding “Aaj Unse Milne hain”. Halo RE seems to be trying to get into the
Bhansali arena and Tod Tadaiya trying to provide a Dabang opportunity to
Salman.
One curious aspect of the movie is the act of Sonam. She
looks isolated and seems to amuse herself with her own act , sharing no
chemistry with the hero besotted. She reminds you of Rekha in many
ways and is hopelessly miscast.
Earnest request to
Sooraj – we love your movies the way they are. This world requires some
affection and sweetness. But don’t start mixing up and serving a concoction of
Bajrangi Bhaijaan and HAHK. Just does not work.
The city I live in apparently sliced off a few minutes from
the 180 minutes. Wonder how tough it must be for the people enduring the entire
length.
Main tho Thak gayo
**
**
