Feeling left out ..

‘What’s up’ my wife asked, looking at me through the corner of her eye while she remained fixated on the TV screen with some character staring frozen and wide eyed at her. I did not answer immediately. I too was fixated by the person on the TV who seemed to have popping eyeballs , nostrils flaring and eyebrows arching to touch the hairline. There was volcanic music in the background so I knew the person on the TV set was not frozen. And not giving up too easily either. It was like a game of who blinks first. But here it seemed that this character was a hands down winner. I looked at the whites and wondered if they used some good eye cleanser which also compressed arteries to make the blood capillaries appear less vivid and less red. But then I am digressing. I allow the character on the TV to bleed his eyes out and turn back to the wife.

“What’s up?” she repeated arching her eyebrows now.

Worried that I was just about to get into a ‘who blinks first session” in real life I answered

‘Well nothing really, you fasting?’

‘What?? ‘She asked, her eyebrows really arching now and those two question marks there to emphasize the height of the arch.

‘You know like fasting the whole day, the moon etc.?’ I asked weakly not sure if I was paraphrasing well

‘What are you talking about?’ She now reached out for the remote and put the guy on the telly on real freeze. Perhaps she did not want to miss out on any of the artistry on display.

‘You know some guys at the office were chatting at the coffee machine about having to leave early for the day due to some moon and fast issues’

‘Hey wait, you tell me you never have time to go to the coffee machine?’ She asks her eyebrows still doing their mountain act

‘Look you are digressing’, I said, ’I passed the coffee machine and there was this group of four guys who were animatedly comparing notes on how to get back home so that they wives could see them and then have their first meal of the day. And you know what they looked like a cult by themselves and I was feeling left out’

‘What?’ She asked her face puzzled looking completely flummoxed apparently either with my expectation or with the fact that I had spent time at the coffee machine when I had been earlier claiming I never spent time there or perhaps the fact that I was looking like a wimp sharing girly stories with her

‘From when have you started believing in festivities anyway? That is a festivity in another part of our country and in the south we never celebrate and we never did in our so many years of marriage. Why today? The other day I had to drag you to do some basic Ganesh puja and you had this urgent telecon to attend to“ Her voice went vacillating from extreme annoyance to the vulnerable

“Well Uh, I, uh, surely you care about me don’t you? I mean like pray for my life, my welfare etc. “I asked weakly

She sprung up from the sofa now looking worried reaching out for my forehead

“You are ok dear? Are you experiencing fever of any kind? Sit down will you. Let me get you some water”

“No, I am fine just wanted to know you care for my welfare and are praying for my longevity?” I said recovering the strength in my voice and pushing her hand away, offended

“Dear, tell me the truth.Have you been sneaking behind my back and watching my TV soaps?” She asked genuinely concerned

“ Of Course not ,‘ I replied horrified that she could even think that, ‘ and I am sure these guys at the office preening of the festivity and feeling part of a core group, do not either. But their wives seem to really have cracked the code for displaying their affection to them”

Her expression changed from disappointment to flummox to now a bit angry. Her eyebrows were doing their arch act again but this time the combination with flared nostrils was a bit disturbing and unsettling.

‘Remember how in Khabhi Khushi Khabhi Ghum Kajol did that for SRK? “

She was now looking worried sure that she had lost her husband’s sanity

‘You know my friend Veena Gupta she also has never celebrated these days but thanks to the soaps and the depiction in the movies her husband too has been asking her that .Look here dear, everyone has a different way of celebrating their joys of life and in the south we have a different way. If you want we can go and look at the moon even now if that helps. But with the haze even that is not possible!! “

“Hey it’s not just about the moon” I said angrily

“Then? “

“It’s about the feeling that you care for my longevity that you care for my welfare, even Subu’s, Ganya's and Hegde’s wives were doing it and they are also from the south. So then? “I challenged back

She let out a sigh!

“Come on dear out with it, what is bothering you? Surely it cannot be this festivity. We never spoke about this in years of marriage and now this? What is it? What is bothering you?”

“ Ahem well you see I have been getting all these updates on What’s App and FB with pictures posted by my friends and their wives with so many glorious statuses and just look at the likes and gasps they are eliciting. Don’t you think I also aspire for that?”

She could not believe her ears apparently as she went silent for a minute and then she silently gets up walks over gets her phone and proceeds to take a selfie with us together.

“Smile “She orders angrily

I grin as hard as I can. She grins as hard as she can.

She posts it on our common groups

“Thrilled to be spending a lovely evening with the darling of my life. Waited all day for him. Prayed for his long life. Looking forward to a rocking evening”

“Ok? “ She asked like asking a small child who had just been handed over his candy

“ You did not pout”, I say weakly again but sense this is too risky,”Yeah it’s fine”

I started to look appeased. Strong enough to be able to stand among my peers on the groups with sufficient evidence that we had a rocking life full of festivities and endorsed by the world. The Love You all’s and mwahs started pouring in

My heart also seemed to be beating better.