Finding Fanny Not Funny

**

With multitudinous activities spawning across a person’s timeline it has become essential to invest time wisely on the entertainment menu that one is served with these days. So when the teasers leave one with doubt you reach out for your trusted reviewer friends to help you out. Most trusted Khalid does not write these days so then one reaches out to Rajeev Masand and Anupama Chopra. They are generally dependable and when they are not I have worked out a way to read between their words. They have the unwise charted territory of also having the film folks on their show before the releases and that in itself creates a conflict of interests. Their reviews in this case left me uneasy as they reluctantly praised and heaped stars on the movie.

Homi had indeed excelled in his first ‘Being Cyrus’ a pretty dark movie with sophisticated treatment. Strangely the look of the film reminded me of Matru Kee Bijli ka Mandola . Wondered if Pankaj Kapur was solely responsible for me feeling that.

Ten minutes into the movie saw me exchanging my leg, the first sign of trouble in a movie for me. Fidgeting is the first big sign of reaction to inactivity in the script or the inability of the director to hold your attention with the visuals. I remember I kept doing the twists and ended in knots in Saawariya. But that is another story.

Nasiruddin Shah managed his expression as expertly as he always does while the camera caressed a lazy script of an old postman who receives an old mail of his undelivered and supposedly the triggering point for the script to take off. We still think it is the setting of the plot stage which is key and the stretch of this timeline varies from director to director. A delicate looking Deepika appears on the scene as a young widow living with her mother in law Dimple Kapadia and who fawns over over Nasiruddin Shah her like a daughter would. There is plenty in Goa to fill in a thousand cameras and yet the camera here is stumped for action beyond realistic looking interiors of houses. It dismisses the stunning Goanese landscape with unusual carelessness. It is about Deepika’s character nudging and then helping Nasiruddin Shah’s character to help find his old love Fanny and in the road journey being accompanied by a car owner Pankaj Kapur, her stout mother in law Dimple and her old boyfriend Arjun Kapoor.

Road trips lead to amusing and sometimes meaningful evolution of characters that go on a journey together. But the chirpy plots in this script are extremely contrived. Vulgar one liners and antics are passed off as intelligent mature and witty banter. Did not amuse me one bit though there were kind giggles in the audience trying to perk themselves up in the boredom which envelops. By the time the intermission hits you, you are desperately looking at your watches.

Found the plot and treatment hollow and very pretentious and extremely unentertaining. It was practically boring and that made me a feel a twinge of sadness as I would really have loved to see Homi do a fantastic job with this setting with opportunities galore for an entertaining script. If only they did not think that only being slow and deliberate could help them differentiate themselves from the poor quality movies released week after week.

And surprisingly in a movie bordering on boring, it must be noted that you cannot find fault with the performances. However Nasiruddin and Pankaj Kapoor have done far superior roles than these before. Arjun looks and sounds like he walked off the sets of 2 States and Dimple does ham a bit. It is stunning Deepika who helps the bored audience stay put. The dubbing in Hindi apparently over the English is extremely distracting when one starts paying more attention to the lip sync rather than what is being said. There are glaring mistakes like Nasiruddin leaving to find fuel waving a large white plastic can and then returning with a blue one. Post sex talk between characters are supposed to somehow exhibit the liberal acceptance of the new generation towards out of marriage physical contact but ends up sounding like an artificial posturing. It is also irksome to note excess focus on oversized hips of people or lusty artistes oogling over aged opposites.

Finding Fanny is not Funny beyond a few giggles.

Boxed in Viewing

Noble thoughts. Good intent. Priyanka Chopra. Method acting. Push ups. Built muscles. Gentle village girl. But strong. Fights village boys. Wants to get coached by a Pritish Nandy lookalike. Coach not accepting. Girl persevering. Finally accepting. Now girl practice boxing. Girl also like another boy. Good actor.

Then girl going to Olympics. Winning many medals. Famous. Getting married. Two children. One day. Bus . Passenger not recognising. Mary feeling sad. Pick up Gloves again. Again going to Olympics. Government manager. Not giving enough food. Mary fighting. Now Mary really mad. Her child also sick. Same Same time Mary boxing and Child also surgery. But all good finally.

Mary Kom very good. Movie Mary Kom 'Kom' good. Sets very nice. People
look real. Story almost real. Some some very filmi dialogue. Ok OK film !

Did you feel narration disjointed, stuttering, moving from good to worse, good intent but finally ending up dissatisfied. Does it hurt even more if you loved Million Dollar Baby. You bet. Lover of firang film. Come on accept it when there is creative work to be hailed.

One should decide whether they want to make a serious biopic or an entertaining movie taking off from a biopic. Not a mish mash in between.
Honestly speaking the movie left me bored in many patches. One feels for the earnest Onler played by Darshan Kumar. Priyanka plays a role that any actress putting her heart to it could play.But there's something missing in her act. Maybe there's just too much effort. Reminded me of her act in Barfi.

All the reviewing and the movie aside it is a fact that the obscure Mary Kom got her due of recognition thanks to this movie and for that kudos. More importantly North East gets discussed and that for me as an Indian is a big win. But makers, when you make a biopic please make a serious one.

The unusual Modification of the nation

I have been craving to hear a heart thumping confident speech like this .Speaking extempore before a nation, Live ! Speaks volumes of this man, a leader destined to become a legend, to be marked in history. The speech itself was simple addressing day to day issues, no bombastic jargon filled schemes. Let's make basic necessities for the common man and more importantly the stress on needs of the Indian women be it toilets or their personal safety. 

 I just had to stand up and salute this man who dared not to make a safe speech to routinely please international guests and say what corporates/industry wants to hear. Instead he chose to address what the country needs today . To get back to basics. Something that should have been done since 67 years.

 No unnecessary sabre rattling at neighbours to win brownie points. Instead he chose to appreciate a small neighbouring country and lauded it's growth. Bringing focus back on tourism, national cleaniness, safety for women and scrapping ancient bodies of governance that have lost their purpose.

 I loved the sense of inclusiveness that he always uses in his speeches while speaking about parliamentarians including the opposition and not belittling anyone.

Leadership is not about either silent economic wizardy or bullying the nation into mediocre submission something we have seen before. It is about communication, posturing with humility, using the collective power of those who are in your team in this case the citizens and achieving greatness. Their job is not to formulate but carry the entire population of the rich, the poor, the clever and the simpletons. Because nation is not about winning at the bottom line turnstiles by only focussing on those smart. It is making living in a country an equal success for 100% of its people. I think businesses could take tips from this leader

 The theme is clear. He wants to and will stand out in the long list of leaders since independence. Whether it is a carefully manipulated image or not, does not matter. It is working and will inevitably see the birth of a new nation in 5 years

Can the superheroes please get on with the job of saving the world!

I wish to tender my apologies to SRK for a scathing review I wrote on RA-ONE a few years back. I had suffered a three day headache after suffering the unimaginative video game story. His intentions were noble. He wanted to set the benchmark for the techno razzle dazzle in India and tried perhaps to impress his son, something I, in his position too would not have dithered from doing. I enjoy the supermen stories and the bordering on unbelievable stunts with as much gurgling boyish happiness as my son would. The underlying victory of goodness is never lost on me. But I just could not digest the lack of narrative and any script sense in that movie. I thought he had made a hash of good potential those supermen movies held promise of.

He can rest easy now. The crown has shifted to a new contender. If you wish to learn how to make a hash of a nice franchisee, watch Amazing Spiderman 2. It has everything going for it. Great looking actors Andrew Garfield, lovely Emma Stone, access to big budget special effects,  wonderful Sally Fields who never disappoints and yet the movie ends up being one of the worst superhero movies made.

I had two quick snoozes in the first half while main characters droned poorly written conversations, endlessly discussing the regimentation of romance, boring clichéd saves, unfunny muffled one liners and unimpressive actions scenes though not tacky. In contrast the Amazing Spiderman 1 was a masterpiece handling the expert depiction of vulnerability by a good looking boyish Garfield with panache. In this he goes around with confused expressions apparently a nod to his distraction with a lovely Emma while his duty, to save one person and destroying 10 buildings and 100 cars in the process, continues half-heartedly.

The narration too was not seamless and seemed extremely disjointed almost as if the makers were not sure what they wanted to do with the footage on hand. My main grudge with the makers of the super hero movies these days is that they have forgotten that children viewers around the world own the copyright to enjoy these superheroes and their antics and they are least interested in a psychological in depth analysis of the superhero’s internal struggle with his emotional imbalance and confusion with how to execute his super powers for the welfare of the society. Excuse me but can we cut down on the gooey part and allow the super heroes to do what they did best. Save the world!

So then in comparison with RA-ONE at least it had Bhare Naina as a saving grace. This has none unless you count an almost funny exchange between Garfield and Emma as one. I wondered what Jamie Foxx was doing here. The poor artiste is badly wasted. My heart sank when towards the end a new villain makes an appearance and went “Oh No Not again” but then good sense prevailed and the credits rolled. Wink Wink. You know what’s coming next. Amazing Spiderman 3. Ok I am getting out of the country when that releases!

The art of arranging love marriages

I know there is a big class of Junta in my friends who will give me a verbal hiding if I say Chetan Bhagat writing’s are quite mediocre. But you cannot deny that his books go on to make interesting scripts and well-crafted movies. In case of the autobiographical 2 states it may be a case of a not less meaty storyline nestling in the hallowed shelves of Dharma productions. So production values elevate and provide visual pleasure of rich colors in art and costumes.

Decades back EK Duje Ke Liye tackled the tryst of cross-over matrimony between a South Indian boy and a North Indian girl. This time around the plot is flipped as the hero is a full blooded Punjabi in love with a Tamilian (Mind you not Madrasan as the script aggressively implores time and again and rightfully so). All is well between the modern couple who meet up like any other ordinary youngsters, get attracted, cohabit without the least bit of shocked drama about it. But unusually they do find the fizzle missing without getting their parents blessings and decide to unite the families instead of eloping, giving the script a long rope to create comical and serious situations around the North Indian mother in an unhappy marriage struggling to harmoniously adjust with the stiff about their culture and pedigree Tamilian family of the girl.

While it looks to be moving forward as hoped by the modern yet obedient children, their happiness derails and there is the struggle to convince both sides of the fact that there can be happiness in diversity.

The film begins quite lazily and for the first twenty minutes the characters seem to be struggling to get set into the plot. The direction is also lack luster in places with shocking editing. In one scene the characters start talking on cue as the film rolls. This seemed distracting. But then Arjun Kapoor as the good natured sweet and coy Punjabi boy and Alia Bhatt as the South Indian girl studying at IIM-A get into the groove and grip the movie and their characters tightly. Their efforts at staying at each other’s homes to win over the family members is nice and real. But do they eventually succeed?

The music is intrusive to the plot in places. There are some memorable scenes between the father , mother and son and they will get those tear glands working.

The script is weak at places but never leads to any overacting from the main protagonists. Amrita Singh as the boy’s Punjabi mother who is leading a battered life and lives only for her son but just cannot seem to escape the  bias that exists naturally but you willingly forgive her as her love is unbounded for her son. Amrita Singh is superbly natural in this role and elevates the role beyond the expectations of the character written. Ronit Roy as her sulking depressed husband makes a menacing quiet presence and shows why he is so famous on the small screen. Revathi and Shiv Kumar Subramanian play their roles with comical maturity.The only sad part is an underused Achint Kaur who is a superb actress waiting to be found and used properly.

It is however Arjun Kapoor with his extremely well characterized and low key Krish Malhotra and Alia Bhatt who you cannot take your eyes off and who raise the movie leagues above the strength of its script. Alia was outstanding in Highway and completely deglamorized. In this you cannot but help admire her twinkling smile ,mischievous eyes and a bold act. She is etching her name fast on the landscape of great actresses of the future.

The rest of the plots are forced including the setting of IIM, a single shot of the class, a few walks in the corridor and people in the movie are underused like the faceless classmates and many small characters who are not fleshed out fully.

Yet the movie does leave you satisfied and raises a few chuckles at the North/ South - Non veg / veg divide that still exists today. The director does not shirk from casually walking the path of the sexual liberation era today and does not make a song and dance about it .

There was great scope to induce more comedy into the situations and make it more light and fluffy than morose but it is nice to see producers promoting scripted movies than unbridled tomfoolery which release these days. Are love marriages between North and South still as tough as depicted? I think it will remain as long as regional and caste value system remains guarded as a means of preserving cultural identity and children seek to respect and get an approval of that system despite an open approach to marriages. It is the era of arranged love marriages.

***

review of 2 states

Queen - Go Go Go Watch this Movie!

*****

If Zindagi Na Milegi Dobaara got a smile on your face with its three young men on a road journey through Spain, Queen captures the mind-blowing journey of Kangana Ranaut as a simple humble Queen traipsing through France and Amsterdam in an unpretentious journey of self-discovery related in such a comical fashion that you just do not want it to stop. It is not to deride when one says the script is almost predictable but more of a salute to good writing that it is taken to new heights simply by creating comical vignettes bolstered by some of the finest acting seen in decades by not only the lead actress but all of the characters so laboriously etched out to make them more than believable.

When the lead actress, Rani, within the first five minutes establishes her connect with the audience, you know you are ready to settle down for a ride that does not only have you holding your sides but also marvel at some of the finest comical dialogues delivered so casually with a dead pan middle class humble face.

Queen as a title is not terribly encouraging for those who corroborate a mix of the title and a teaser to decide whether it’s worth the outing. It is simply the English synonym of Rani the person straight out of a Hrishikesh Mukherjee and Basu Chatterjee movie of the 70s living in Lajpat Nagar of Delhi with her even more stereotypical Delhi Mithai (Sweetmeat) shop owner parents going through the routine of life, getting ready for the big day of her life and in a nod to the modern women not shy of looking forward to her honeymoon and married life. In one of the finest enacted scenes in recent times you watch Rani with who you have already fallen in love with meet up, clandestinely, at her to be groom’s behest only to have her forbidden fun turn into a tragedy as he deserts her two days before marriage. Kangana displays histrionics that onlookers will not only want to embrace and comfort her but also whack the groom (Raj kumar Rao) for doing it to her.

This then, the turning point in her life, leads her to a strange quest of completing the circle of her planned life of having a honeymoon albeit without her husband. Then begins a roller coaster of a discovery as a total simpleton she meanders around Paris and Amsterdam and the journey and her trysts with various characters who dot the landscape of these two countries. The interactions do remind you of Sridevi and her journey across the US in English Vinglish without taking away the freshness of the story. Enjoy the rollicking fun as she meets extremely well etched out, even if stereotypical, foreigners, her travails at a lodging, discovery of a less conservative western world, befriending pole dancers and moonlighting hotel staffers. It will absolutely kill the fun to describe anything more and the dream team of Queen just does not deserve that.

The mantra of the success of a film is simply well fleshed out and believable characters including those on the street (though you do catch foreigners staring at the shoot and that does get distracting). The people around the main protagonist seem so real that you will find it hard to believe, the marvel of a director Vikas Bahl actually had real actors doing those. Wish TV soaps took some lessons from this movie on how to recreate simple watchable family dramas with believable sets.

Rajkumar Rao is emerging as a force to reckon with like we saw Irfan Khan emerging a few years back. He makes us hate his character and root for Rani and that speaks volumes of the man’s abilities moving from a simple cannot hurt a fly type of person in Kai Po Che to a male chauvinist who believes that women are better off at home as the male provides and is sure that his fiancée should feel liberated if he dumps her and be open to embracing him when he changes his mind. He makes himself so annoying that you stand behind Rani and will her to kick him out of her life. Does she? 

Like in Sholay, Lagaan, Swades , 3 Idiots, Munnabhai all movies where the script works hard to populate the story with real people who stay with you long after the movie is over, you are unlikely to forget any single character even with a two minute role in the movie. Be it the loving father who is not averse to saying Namaste to cleavage revealing girls, teenage kids looking forward to Skype sessions with his sister, the protective mother, the modern nanny, an Italian cook, a cab driver who endures a not so sober Rani and her hungama and even those brief roles enacted by serious actors in the marriage sequences. These people stay with you long after the movie is over. If at all you rush out it is to make a quick beeline for the midnight cab queue and people can catch you smiling away as you reminisce some of the sparkling humor. You  are unlikely to forget the finest piece of drunken acting since Amitabh Bachchan did it in AAA.

Dialogues are the king here and to know that Kangana Ranaut is credited to the dialogues as well pleasantly surprises you. Kangana will have a new fan base and she has probably jumped from no 10 to No 1 joining the leagues of Alia Bhatt with her Pataka Guddi act and Deepika with Thangaballi. Marvelous actresses who are redefining Hindi cinema with brilliant directors like Vikas Bahl and Imtiaz Ali.  Kangana Ranaut will in probability sweep away all awards but if she does not she can be rest assured she has a place in our hearts. Hungama ho Gaya!

Go Go Go watch this movie, just to commend the women power and the fine humor it can create!

The subtle art of Voice Message Nirvana

Tring!  Tring !

" Hello ? "

4 rings !

" Hello I am Babita. Thank you for your call. Please leave your message and I will return your call"

That is usually the message Ravin my friend got on his wife's phone. Today he seemed to hang on to the phone for sometime murmuring. I thought he had finally connected and was speaking to her. Lucky guy. He seemed to have finally reached her on the phone ! His usual whine of her not ever picking up the phone and every call going into the voice mail seemed to have died down.

He hung up 9 minutes later and looked at me with a satisfied look on his face! 

I looked back quizzically? Uh ?

"What is that stupid grin for ? What did your wife say that seemed to make you so happy "

" Oh ! She said ' Hello I am Babita. Thank you for your call. Please leave your message and I will return your call'

I went blank for a minute ' uh ?'

" So you had her on the line right ? "

" Can you keep a secret Navin? I am in love with that recorded voice message"

" What, Look Ravin you seem to be suffering hard work trauma . Go home and get some sleep"

" No no you do not understand. What was earlier my regular whine of not being ever able to get my wife on the line is actually a blessing in disguise because the recorded voice message is now my second wife "

I knew he would slip one day. But this was too early 

' Ravin look that is a recorded voice message and you were having a conversation with her. Can you explain"

' Navin you have no idea of what it has done to my life in the last few weeks. I am having the most wonderful time of my married life. No grouses. For the first time my voice mail wife actually listens non stop to whatever I have got to say. I pour all my office woes on to her and she listens without ever interrupting. Everytime i call up I never end up having to shell out thousand rupees worth of some expenses for some fancy requirement.  I give her a big menu of what I would like to eat that night and she never cribs. I am so happy that for the first time in my life she actually never chides or answers me back in an abrupt manner. All she does is say ' I will get back to you'"

I was beginning to get the drift but was not sure. Ravin's wife never lifted the phone and now he seemed to be enjoying it. Had he flipped?

" Look Ravin Do not worry I will have a chat with Babby and get her to be more serious about owning the phone"

" Are you crazy Navin', he screamed, ' Just let me be. Have you not watched "HER" ? Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with his operating system ! So why cannot I fall in love with my wife's voice mail. She sounds so loving there. Just like when we were newly married. She makes endless promises to call back and in the same smiling tone call after call. And she never fails to introduce herself instead of the curt 'BOLO' that I could have otherwise heard . Please do not interrupt in my married electronic life and short circuit it"

This man seemed to be making sense after all. Yes Yes Yes. Peace, non rebuttals , maybe even make offers to buy expensive necklaces and not worry about how to fund it . After all it will be met with a ' I will get back to you' which will never be 'gotten back to '. I looked at him with envy. This man seemed to have found peace. Found Nirvana.

I knew what I had to do. I had to find my own. And I had found the solution to all the stress at office.

I picked up the phone and called a number. The phone rang.

"Hello I am Sarita. Please leave me your message and I will call you back"

I grinned and slumped down on the desk for my soliloquy counselling !